"I have Never Lowered my Head in Front of Anyone"

Fatma Oren, mother in the South Kurdish Mexmûr refugee camp talks about her life and her three children who fell in the freedom struggle of the Kurdish people

The Kurdish people have a long history, an ancient culture and inhabit an area that is considered the cradle of civilization. But unfortunately, in our time, without a home of its own, without an official language of its own, it is deprived of its history and subjected to constant abuse and robbery. In Kurdistan, women play the main role in shaping society. Women are closer to the reality of life, an expression of a millennia-old heritage. From the Neolithic until today, women have defended their independent existence, including in the region Botan, despite all the attacks, constraints and pressure of the patriarchal system. With the advent of the Freedom Movement, Kurdish women have broken with all forms of feudalism and taken a leading role in the struggle for freedom. In 1994, a total of 450 villages in Botan were burned and tens of thousands of people were displaced from their villages. Some of these people dispersed all over the world. To protect their souls and dignity, many fled to South Kurdistan (North Iraq). The people of the Şehîd Rûstem Cûdî Camp (or: Mexmûr Camp) in North Iraq, who are part of this ancient people and culture, have played a significant role in all Kurdish uprisings, as well as for the further development and broadening of the Kurdish Freedom Movement.The women of the Botan region have achieved so much during their endless flight, but they have also experienced a lot of violence and injuries. Now their eyes are set on a different life. Self-awareness, self-knowledge, and self-determination began to form along their journey. The institutions of the Mexmûr Camp began their work by building neighborhood committees, and now they have arrived at building councils. Awareness for their Kurdish identity awoke from centuries of deep sleep, especially among women. Fatma Oren's family was one of the families that the Freedom Movement has always been able to rely on. Fatma Oren, who speaks to us below, has lost three of her sons and her partner in the struggle for Kurdistan's freedom:

"In the past it was not like today, there was no love for the girls and boys. After a certain age, parents chose a spouse for boys and girls. The boy's family took in a young girl according to their wishes and arranged the marriage according to their own family expectations. The girl had no influence on the decision and the girl's family had little choice but to agree. This way of marrying had been established into a culture that no one could escape."

"My marriage came about the same way. I was married when I was 16 years old. My spouse was 22 years old. It was still like that in the 1960s. Seven days after we got married, my husband Salih joined the Turkish army, at that time he was enlisted for three years. After two years of military service, he stayed at home for three days. During those three days, a conflict broke out between our tribe and another tribe in which 23 men were killed. The enmity between these two tribes lasted for eleven years. After his military service, Salih again went with his father to pray at the mosque. That was when his father also fell victim to the conflict, which meant that my husband was now the only son in the house. After this incident, Salih went to the military again for two years and my sister-in-law headed the house. I worked independently on the weekly market and at the same time took care of the household. I had a total of 14 children, 8 boys and 6 girls. In addition to these duties, I was responsible for all the livestock and agriculture. This was hard, but despite my short height and young age, I never bowed my head to anyone. My life partner said one day: `I don't feel comfortable in our house because my father was killed in front of this front door, we should build a new house.` The opportunities were not like today, to build a house we had to break stones in the quarry."

"No matter how hard I try to describe what I've experienced, I don't think anyone can ever comprehend what kind of life I've led."

I Have Never Let Anyone Get Me Down

„Even before my escape, my life was always full of pressure and difficulties. When the work was still shouldered by my life partner and me, it was going quite well. Our relationship was good and equal. He appreciated me and I appreciated him. At that time, the Kurdistan Democratic Party (KDP) in Turkey was important for us.“

„My partner was also a Pêşmerga¹ at that time, like most of the men in our village. My cousin Elî fell as a member of the party². Such was our life, on the one hand the hard work and hardship of village life, on the other hand the Kurdish question and the constant attacks of the enemy.Until September 12, 1980³, our situation was still reasonably good. From then on, the attacks of the Turkish state on us intensified. At that time, the men from the villages went to the Turkish cities and resisted. The PKK did not come to our village at that time.My life partner was also a Kolber⁴ for a while. When he returned in 1982 after an assignment, he got to know the PKK. He participated as a sympathizer and joined the Party in 1987. After he joined, my everyday burden grew; three of my children were still very small at that time. But I didn't let anyone get me down and I managed the everyday tasks myself. I didn't need support from anyone and managed everything myself. We had walnut trees and collected their nuts for the weekly market. Our economic situation was good. I tended the sheep and goats and was very happy with that. Actually, women had nothing to say in the family. In the house the word of the man was valid, whether father or brother or son, his word was valid and he decided the family affairs. I was a strong woman even in the face of that. Everyone knew me like that. The neighbors said about me: `Fatma is very strong-willed, strong, makes her own rules and makes sure that everyone is doing well.` When my partner fell in the struggle, my children and I took care of the household. Without a man in the house, a family was considered broken at that time; but I did not accept that view of my children and myself. Once again, my heart could not rest. Someone had to take over the chores and responsibilities of my murdered husband.“

When the Love for Freedom Enters a Person's Heart...

"I went to the Party and said: I want to participate in the work. The Hevals⁵ were surprised. In our village at that time no woman did organizational work for the Party, because it was said that this was not usual and therefore not possible. Also, all my children were still small. But I insisted. I said that my partner Salih's promise to the Party was also mine and that I would continue Salih's Party work from now on. A year after my husband's death, my son Talip joined the guerrilla. My son was strong and intelligent, so he also chose this path. He told me: `I will go.` I then packed his backpack and told him goodbye. After he left, all the villagers came to me. They said that I had sent him. I was unsure and did not set the record straight. When the love for freedom enters a person's heart, it is not possible to imprison him or hold him back. He will go his own way. My son gave himself the name Xebat. Naturally, the name Xebat became the pride of our family."

„When Xebat fell in 1993, my other son did not have the heart to tell me about his death. He got up early one morning, washed, put on fresh clothes and called for me. He said: `Mother, I will join the Hevals.` I replied: `Son, don't go yet, if your brother falls one day, go and take over his weapon.` He said to me: `I don't care what my brother does, I will go.` My husband's gun was still in the house. My son associated the ammunition vest and the Kalashnikov with his father's struggle against oppression and injustice. He asked me: `Mother, may I take father's gun or not?` I told him: `My boy, take the gun, it will serve you very well, I very much welcome your decision and your greatness.` He threw his backpack on his back, wrapped his scarf around his head and left. I sat outside the door as he stepped over the threshold of our house and watched him go until I lost sight of him. I looked intently at his figure, his charm, and his remarkable beauty.“

Even in Zaxo the Pressure Did not Stop

„Some time after that we emigrated: The pressure and violence of the Turkish state left us with nothing but escape. Because my children were in the ranks of the guerrilla and my deceased partner had also fallen as a guerrilla, our family was particularly at the mercy of the threats of the Turkish military, in addition to the attacks and expulsions against all Kurds in our region. One day Turkish soldiers came to our village and looted and pillaged my house. I had tears in my eyes and before they left they said to me: `If you help the PKK again, we will burn you as well.` I took my children and 30 goats and went to Zaxo with the others. But there the pressure and coercion did not stop either. Twelve people were killed and we went on to Bihêrê, where we stayed for a very short time. Fighter jets of the Turkish army flew over our heads non-stop. To protect ourselves and our children, we moved on to Bêşrîvê. The local Iraqi administration would not let us stay, but the Geliye Qiyametê and Etruş camps took us in. Our group, which fled in 1995, arrived in Geliye Qiyametê, where I stayed for a year. The government imposed an embargo on us for three months. From Geliye Qiyametê we were taken to Etruş. We also stayed there for a year until we had to move on from here as well. Our second group also came. The people from Hilalî and Mijinî settled in Etruş. The rest of us stayed in Geliye Qiyametê.“

I Didn't Have a Good Life

„In 1996 we were firmly integrated in Camp Etruş. After all the suffering and hardships, one day some people from the community leadership came to us. I said to them: `I am a guest, I have experienced a lot of suffering, it is black inside me, I feel burnt out, no joy is left for me. I ask you straightforwardly: Is my son a Şehît<sup>6</sup>?` They confirmed this. This they confirmed. I uttered the tililî⁷ loudly, went to the main square of the camp and spoke in front of 17,000 people. I spoke of the fallen Şehîds and mourned for seven days. After the mourning period, I said, `Let everyone hear and know! There will be my son's wedding on Thursday, you are all invited!`“

„Heval Sinan of the Party came to me and said mercifully: `Yadê (mother), why did you plan the wedding? I was told that you did not want to marry off this son so that he could devote himself to the freedom struggle.` I said to him: `I have decided in favor of the wedding.` At that moment the room was full of men. I stayed in the hall and said: `Even then, when my cousin Elî gave his soul for our homeland and faced the abyss of bitterness, he was killed. He also wanted to destroy their war machines, but now they are circling over his corpse and those of my sons and my partner.` After these words, some men began to cry until eventually everyone was crying. We then let the wedding take place. We stayed for three more months and then went on to Nînova.“

„I did not have a good life. Sometimes I longed to go to sleep for two hours because the work and heavy domestic duties weighed on my shoulders. I was always busy with work. For example, I worked for a year in nature conservation, and most recently in the institution for the families of the fallen. And once again the genocide came upon us. Without vehicles and without preparation, we set out and moved to Nahdaran. We went to KDP areas and were attacked by the Pêşmerga; we went to Iraq and were attacked by Saddam's forces there. In the middle of winter, we were without tents, without nylon tarps, without anything. At the beginning of the flight to Nahdaran, a woman lost her life; her body lay in the same place for a whole three days; there was no funeral for her.“

„Later, the UN and the Iraqi central government came to an agreement and we moved to Mexmûr. We were amazed when we looked around: There were again no tents, no nylon tarps, no rain protection, no ground protection, no food, nothing to drink, no water, there was simply nothing but desert. We had kind and giving hands, but we were poor and could not help ourselves. We just looked at each other and told ourselves that we had to find a way to survive here. There was nothing here but scorpions and snakes. That was what Saddam's dream looked like. In those early days in Mexmûr, 16 children died from scorpion stings. Occasionally a tanker truck would come with water. This is how we lived in the camp for a year.“

„After a while, our people decided to start building the camp. There were many tireless people among us, who had been forgotten by the world, but created an existence from nothing. Our thoughts and beliefs kept us going. Our attachment to freedom kept us on our toes. There was no shelter, but faith existed; there was no water, but there was a soul.“

Our People Were Connected to the Şehîts

„When Rêber Apo [Abdullah Öcalan] was arrested, we had to slowly become aware of our way of life. People were connected to each other, our people were connected to the Şehîts, connected to their effort and work.When Rebertî⁸ was arrested, some Mexmûr residents took their daughters and sons by the hand and brought them to the Organization so that they would join the Party. 260 young people thus joined the guerrilla. My son, too. Very many were still very young, so the Party wanted to turn them away, but the young volunteers said: `If you don't take us, we will burn ourselves.` The Hevals were helpless and accepted them into the Party. It was my third son who joined. From village life to the present day, I have done all kinds of work. From defense to grassroots organizing, from founding the institution of the relatives of the fallen to diplomacy, I have not stopped for a day and have not taken a day off. Even when I became ill, I did not stop working for a moment. I took care of my children as well as work for the Party. When the women took their place in the Party works, the men were very annoyed. They said: `What work can there be in defense for women? What do women understand about defense? What can they talk about in their independent meetings?` Some were angry, some made jokes about us. But we did not step back and we did every work with great seriousness.“

„One night my phone rang. It was an unknown number. I picked up the receiver and asked: `Who is this?` My son's voice answered: `It's me, Xebat.` We talked for a while. Then he said: `Mom, I had a dream. There was a wedding in front of our house, dad was there too and then I woke up. I wrote a poem from my dream and sent it to you. I wish I could put my head contentedly on your knees and tell you about my burden.` The telephone conversation ended. At that moment there was an attack. I shouted: `Xebat! Xebat!` In that hour, my third son also fell. At the same time, I am grateful. I used to tell myself that if my children did not behave and do something wrong in the ranks of the guerrilla, I would not be able to continue living in our community with my head held high. Now I am happy with everything my children did and I am proud of them. Everything we have done was for freedom. We resisted because we did not give up where we came from and our culture. We will continue to resist. The level we have reached today is a result of Abdullah Öcalan and our Party.“

This article was first published in the September/October 2021 edition of the Kurdistan Report.